The Craft of the Cocktail

First of all, I'm sorry to borrow the title of a great bartending book, but it just seemed to be the appropriate name. There's a crusade of sorts that's been fluttering around cosmopolitan towns for more than decade, but is just hitting Cincinnati en mass in the last year or two. It's the quality, well-crafted drink. Now granted, there are some bartenders here in town who have been more aware of this trend for a lot longer, but not because they knew it was "cutting edge," but rather because they knew it's just the right way to drink. I remember slipping in to Neon's 15 years ago and getting all excited about Terry Carter's fresh squeezed juices. I was a young pup at the time, sneaking in when I was 22 (I say that because Neon's was 25 and up), and tossing my beer aside for fresh squeezed Kamikaze's and real lime in my Gin & tonic. It felt "right." Now, thank goodness, a lot more people are doing this, and are aware of the beauty of a "proper" drink. Molly Wellman is one of these people. You should seek her out and belly up to her bar. There are others too. Find them... trust me. Now, I've vented about martini lists before, but don't get me started on my feelings for seeing a drink list on the bar of featured, specialty concoctions, and then ordering one... only to watch them hoist a bottle of browned-out Rose's lime into the mix. If I don't jump over the bar and smack them, I at least give a subtle jab at the "genius" behind the work. Oh, and I never return. It's like the dirty bathroom theory: If they're willing to have a dirty bathroom, that which every patron can clearly see, how dirty are the spots they can't see? Same idea. If they claim to make a great drink and they stand right in front of you mixing Donald Duck brand grapefruit juice, or Rose's lime/grenadine (it's not supposed to be cherry flavored, by the way) and then charge you $7.50 for the drink... what's the kitchen look like? What's really going into your burger? Is it really worth $10.00? The bartender is like the Maitre D'. It's a first impression. It's an indicator of quality and the personality of the place. It's important... very important to have a passionate, quality-driven "chef" behind the bar.
Now, back to the "craft of the cocktail" and my recent issue. As you've probably gathered, I love a quality drink, and I feel like I deserve one after a long day. As a recent mixologist said to me, "I'm not snobby." I'm not either. I just want delicious. Thankfully, a lot more establishments see the importance of this and are working hard to give it to the customer. However, some are doing this at a pretty steep cost. They're scaring away a lot of clientele. You see, nothing is more of a turn off when you're at a bar talking to some guy or girl for the first time, than them being a cocky, snooty ass. Why then would you want your bartender to be that way? I'm all for well-made imbibery (not sure if that's really a word), but just do it. Don't promote yourself like a pompous, know-it-all. Just make the drink. I'll know you're good at what you do just by watching you make it, and ultimately tasting it. I'll even know by seeing what ingredients made the drink list, the wine list or the beers on tap. And yeah, I know fresh squeezed juices are more expensive and time consuming, but let's not get to excited about what it's worth. Charging double-figures for something that should cost $7.00 at the most doesn't make it taste better, in fact it makes it taste a little worse. I've always believed that what all bar owners and bartenders want is to have a good crowd. In the end, it's a business. That's exactly what some people will say to justify their pricing, however, nothing brings money in like someone sitting at the bar. So why is it that a well-crafted cocktail only comes at bars and at prices that only 1/3 of drinkers in town will ever go? Why cut out 2/3 of the potential customers? Don't get me wrong, I love where things are headed, but it needs to be available to the masses. It needs to be more accessible. Not only from a location and a pricing standpoint, but also from the mixologist who's making the drink as well. Be a human being. Wear a smile. Be proud of what you do because you love it, and it makes you feel good when someone takes that first sip and takes the time to compliment your work. Most bartenders are just that... a bar-tender. Someone who "tends" to the bar. They're drink -pourers. Be creative. Be a bar-chef, as I like to call them. Be a pro, and most importantly of all, do it without all the pomp and circumstance. I can tell you that every single one of my most memorable drinks in any bar, anywhere in the world, has been well thought out, carefully made, and made with a smile by the kind of person that I wouldn't mind having a beer with once their shift was over. At the end of the day, isn't that really what we all want. That's what will drive more business to your bar. Not a snob who thinks they're the best mixologist in town and they run everyone off with a combination of over-bearing personality and exorbitant prices. We need more of the fun, humble, talented, passionate and caring people behind the bars in this town. Not only will our drinks taste better, but we'll have no problems ordering another... or another. In the end we'll be COMPLETELY satisfied with the experience.