Have you seen this person?

I was sitting in a wonderful little bar the other day enjoying a cold beer when I realized that I knew everyone in the place. I didn't know their names, but I knew them. It was after 5:00pm and happy hour was starting to really move a bit. Now this particular bar doesn't serve food, so one of the regulars who works at a restaurant during lunches brings in treats for the gang, and having seen me in there before, offered me a sandwich. Of course I accepted, and knowing that he wasn't making them for paying customers, but rather for friends, he made them with a little bit more toppings than usual. Delicious. There was the old timer at the end of the bar who had been there well-before I got there. Drinking long necks, pouring it 3oz. at a time in a small juice glass, with a separated pile of cash in front him... one for the beers and one for the bartender. There was the lonely guy who talks to everybody and needs his couple of hours in the bar to feel normal again. There was the other lonely guy who is that way because he hates talking, and he sat crumpled at the end of the bar watching the evening news with closed captioning and nursing his Windsor. There's the group of office workers who got out a little early and were still venting about the day. One of the ladies was being chastised for inviting the boss to join them when his day was over, another being applauded for the donuts she brought in for breakfast. One of the fellows with the ladies was trying way too hard to make jokes hoping to court one of the other girls. He doesn't realize that he's a career mail-room guy and she's using the job as a stepping stone to six figures... he doesn't have a chance. Then there's the group of recent retirees, three of them in fact, enjoying every moment of their new found freedom by being drunk at noon, and bitching about the weather because they can't wait to start golfing again. They're being loud, but not obnoxious, and they obviously know the bartender well, because every dirty joke and playful flirt is greeted with appreciation, not disdain. The local mailman is there, done with his day. Looking ragged from the rough weather he's endured. You can tell, he's enjoying his drink almost more than anyone else. Walking in is the out-of-place guy. He's usually out on Friday and Saturday nights, so he thinks his usual act is OK with day-timers. Little does he know, that yelling across the bar, tipping like crap and playing $5 worth of Pearl Jam on the jukebox isn't going to cut it at happy hour. He spends an hour fighting back and forth with the bartender about the appropriate volume level. He loses. He drinks six beers in one hour, ends with a shot of Jager, tips $2 for the whole tab and thinks we'll all miss him when he's gone. Adios! Back to the restaurant employee who brought the sandwiches: He's such a regular that he pays in advance. He gets the same amount beers, and the same two shots everyday. He dishes out the food, sets down his money, minus the obvious "Thank You" no charge for the first couple of rounds and settles in to his stool. If a stranger is in it, he has no problem asking them to scoot down, and in a beautiful move of camaraderie, the rest of the bar has his back and urges the other guy to move. The bartender is beautiful, and you can tell she's worked in a lot bars for a lot of hours and knows all the tricks. She probably got the primo happy hour shift by being attractive, not for having seniority, and it's a perfect fit with all the old guys in the place. One of the office workers asks for some foo-foo shot. I think a chocolate cake shot. Nobody can remember how to make it because everyone in this bar is typically a purist. Straight drinks with maybe a splash of ginger or soda. Ice is the big curve ball. How much or how little? All of this going on around me made me wonder, who am I? Am I a duplicate of one of these characters or am I a completely new species? I came in because I work odd hours and anytime can be 5:00pm for me. I didn't have anywhere to be until 7:00pm when my wife was expecting me home for dinner. My biggest concern was feeling out my system to know whether or not I could have 2 drinks or 5 without the wife thinking I had more than 1. I guess maybe I'm the closet barfly. I come and I go. I enjoy my drinks, but with somewhere else to be. I'm not a wallflower, but I don't over stay my welcome either. I watch some TV and I don't openly criticize the idiot arguing that the moon landing was a conspiracy. I scan the jukebox just to see what kind of music dominates so I have an idea of the personality of the night time crowd. Ouch! Lots of new country and power ballads. I guess this is to be an afternoon option only. That's OK. I have lots of new friends. A cast of characters that I know like family and to think we just only met. I bet every afternoon bar in town has the same crowd.

An introduction... to my soapbox

There seems to be a trend in the local bars and restaurants, and thankfully, it's trending up. That trend, which was M.I.A. 10 years ago, is slowly growing, and to my surprise, Cincinnatians aren't fighting it as much as I thought. It is creativity. Confidence. Curiosity. Education. No more are the masses lining up and being herded into the exact same drink, same music and same cliche menu items from spot to spot. There's interest in knowing more and trying something new. I remember when I was in college (granted that was 15 years ago), I was the goof-ball of my pack of friends. I was the guy who spent a little extra money and bought better beer for the parties. I took a lot of heat, but in the end, I drank better, and I was much happier. What stands out the most about that time is the fact that I had a running list of bars in town that served better beer. The list was short. That list if made today, would easily be ten times the size that it was. Did anyone even know, let alone drink, Belgian Ales or IPA's ten years ago? No. It excites me to see the masses not wanting to settle for the vanilla option anymore. I love seeing a beer list with one maybe two token domestic premium beers, followed by a well thought-out laundry list of imports and micro-craft beers that satisfy curiosity and work with the menu. I love the same attention given to the wine list or the cocktail list. And the menu? I understand there has to be some old favorites, but when 9 out of 10 restaurants have the exact same items with subtle seasoning variations, come on. Give me a break.
One evening I went to a new restaurant downtown. I figured I'd give it some business, check it out, see what it had to offer. What did I find? Caesar salad, potato skins, sliders, Miller Lite specials, blah blah blah. Why make the trip? For the casual visitor who works downtown and commutes out in the evening, why should they stay for happy hour? To spend more money than they should on exactly the same thing that they could get from the Applebee's next to their condo? I left terribly disappointed. Did I return? Yeah, I did, but only because I felt that I should give it another fair shake. I haven't been back a third time. This is far too common. I'm not suggesting that restaurateurs be so crazy, unique that everyone is scared to try their place out, but show us that you cared enough to think outside of the box. It goes the same for wine lists, beer lists and cocktail menus. If I look at one more featured martini list that has a Cosmopolitan or an Apple martini on it, I'll scream. I can get that ready-made in a tin can at a local drive-thru. You don't need to put it on your "featured" list. As far as the wine list is concerned, unless I'm at 4 or 5 star restaurant, I don't need to see how good your wine buyer is at spending money by having 300 wines on the list. That's not impressive. What is impressive, is having a 25-50 bottle list that covers all of the bases for the concept, has a nice range of price, and compliments the hell out of the chef and his menu.
All that having been said, I don't want everyone to think I'm some sort of a beer or wine snob. I just plugged down a can of Burger beer this evening after work. The Cosmopolitan martini... I have no problem with a bar serving or selling it, just know its' place. Potato skins and sliders, I love them. I just don't love them when they cost $13.95 and I'm going out for a night on the town. I can make 'em at home. Usually better. Give me something special. Now if you make the absolute best potato skin in the world, and you do something no one else does, then by all means, keep it going. But let's be honest, that's not happening. If you're some little mom-n-pop neighborhood spot, than that's OK. Give me wings and cheese sticks. But, when you're the next big thing, moving into a high profile spot downtown or in Hyde Park, and you have press releases and the whole nine yards, don't get me all excited for cookie-cutter, blah blah blah.